What do children know that adults forget?

Do you remember? As kids we were always saying things like, “I can do it!” and “Let me!” …often with great defiance and conviction. How did we go from there to being adults who continuously chant I can’t?

People have been asking me questions about the Climb program lately. Their curiosity has prompted me to write this particular post.

Hey…look at that happy couple standing in front of that scary mountain! 

I want to share why I believe the Climb program holds a treasure trove of value. I will tell you first that creating and launching Climb Your Mountain on March 2nd, as well as other personal growth programs to follow, is MY MOUNTAIN this year.

There is no greater feeling of empowerment than taking a challenge head on – a seemingly impossible challenge – and then coming out on top. Reaching the summit. Standing there in your own skin, looking down on how far you have come, with the reality of your stunning victory just sinking in…it’s like getting a shot of unlimited power right into your veins! Wonderfully intoxicating and energizing.

And yet, most people will retreat from taking on their biggest, most difficult challenges. Instead, they will label and accept them as insurmountable limitations, and settle into the comparative safety of their comfort zone. Once the decision is made to retreat, they begin composing internal stories of self-limitation, reinforcing the idea that they are unable to make any real, measurable change. In truth, the comfort zone is really just a self-imposed prison.

Over time, the stories become embedded as circular, self-perpetuating, limiting beliefs. Those beliefs then get tucked away in the subconscious and work 24/7 behind the scenes, playing out in the background of our psyche. Ultimately, our beliefs feed all of our decisions. Perhaps what is most disturbing is that we actually embrace our limiting beliefs, holding onto them like a security blanket. 

But wait…isn’t security a good thing? After all, why should we attempt what is too difficult, and then fail? Security equals safety equals happiness, right?

Surprisingly, the opposite is true. All the while we are clutching our blanket, we are most likely wondering why we are not truly happy, bewildered by a vague and intangible emptiness…what is eluding us?

We rarely look up to notice that we have actually created our own glass ceiling. Perhaps it is too painful to see that which seems far beyond our reach anyway. We may feel a tinge of jealousy, and even hold judgment against others who are doing the things we wish we could do, disempowered further by their success.

You may have heard that most people “lead lives of quiet desperation, and die with their song still inside them.” This quote is attributed to Henry David Thoreau. It pretty much sums up the sad truth that many people will live out their lives never realizing their full potential, never singing their beautiful life-song.

Replace your can’t with CAN.

In short, limiting beliefs deny us access to achieving breakthroughs that could potentially restore flow, energy, and refreshing possibility into our lives. These soul-crushing beliefs also leak out into our speech. Those who live inside the limitation paradigm say the word can’t a lot.

Can’t is a deflating, cop-out word that instantly robs us of our freedom. How? By dismissing any and all empowering thoughts from even entering the mind. It bars their entrance before considering them as possibilities. The word can’t is a contraction – need I say more?

Think of it this way: Can’t is the gatekeeper of limiting self-beliefs. Can is the only key that opens the door to freedom.

So, what changed in me? What made me go from being stuck in a pattern of limiting self-beliefs to believing that I can do anything I set my mind to?

A decision.

I decided that enough was enough. I decided to change my internal story of no, I can’t …to yes, I CAN.

Well, that sure sounds easy. But it wasn’t. Indeed, making the decision was easier than doing the work that followed. I guess what I’m saying is this: You aren’t going to do any of the work until you make the decision to do it.

Here’s what’s true…just as surely as we work to embed any internal stories of self-limitations, we may also choose to rewrite those stories, transforming them into I CAN stories and beliefs. This transformation requires a bit of work – work I shall refer to from now on as training.

Climbing the Grand Teton, for me, was symbolic of something much bigger and deeper in my life – breaking through debilitating fear, and healing persistent internal pain.  The pain of low self-worth and limiting beliefs that kept me inside the prison of my comfort zone – small and powerless.

To be clear, climbing the Grand was neither a magic bullet nor a miracle cure for my pain and fear issues. Rather, it initiated me on a path of high-powered, accelerated personal growth. On this path I continuously meet challenges head on with courage and commitment to the process of healing – and that is where the training comes in. Climbing the Grand was my first big breakthrough, one that required building some muscle to achieve …not just physical muscle, but mental as well. It meant learning how to challenge – and rewrite – my own limiting thoughts, beliefs, and even speech.

It’s like anything else: the more you do it, the closer you get to mastery. By training for the mountain I actually mastered my fear, and began rewriting my most painful, limiting stories. And wow, it sure has powered me up for THIS year’s big mountain!

What is your greatest challenge? What fear, internal story or limiting self-belief is stopping you from achieving something you really want? I have asked before…what is YOUR mountain this year?

I assure you that whatever it is, you have what it takes to reach the summit. To get there, however, you must first make the choice – a decision – followed by commitment, the right support, and training. Personal breakthroughs are spectacular because we make them happen.

Do you feel the I CAN stirring somewhere inside? Do you wish more than anything to break through your fear and limiting self-talk to achieve a dream bigger than you’ve ever dared?

We will be offering a free week of “bootcamp” to introduce Climb Your Mountain for anyone who is excited and committed to upping their A-game. Watch for the announcement!

And don’t forget…

Keep calm and Brumbylon. 

Thanks for hanging out with me – have a great week! 

~ Lisa 

“The seed that grows toward the light begins in darkness.”

Are YOU a Scaredy-cat?

What will you do when fear takes the wheel?

Okay, I am going to just say it: I am facing a big fear right now. I am on the verge of launching something very important to me, ready to put my neck on the line, and walk out on a tightrope to stand on a stage that feels too big for me…and that gnawing fear of failure is taking up residence in my gut.

I’m doing it anyway. 

I am climbing a new mountain in 2020. I’m staring up at it right now and wondering…

How am I ever going to make it to the summit?

Folks, I am not kidding you. Climbing the Grand Teton in 2018 has changed my life profoundly. It catapulted me onto a dance floor where I now tango with my biggest fears. I want you to understand that I was the last candidate to volunteer for such an adventure. You know me, the scaredy-cat with a paralyzing fear of heights? THE. LAST. PERSON. Who would ever do something so radical to mend a wound in my life. A very big, open booboo that would not heal. I want to explain a bit.

Fear had always held me back from doing big things and risking failure. I have been plagued all my life with limiting beliefs and stories about myself that went something like this: I am not good enough. I am not pretty enough. I am not smart enough. I am not skinny enough. I am not bold enough. I am NOT ENOUGH. Every time I pushed the boundaries to shine my light I received a stronger push back. Those messages got louder and louder until they were screaming at me. Another voice inside would whisper, Stay small, Lisa. It’s much safer.

Someday I will share the reasons why I fell into this circular, debilitating set of beliefs, because those reasons are an important part of my development. What I will say now is that I accepted and internalized a lot of negative messages, messages that permeate every layer of society. Such messages are delivered in poisonous doses by men and women alike – countless, insidious, crippling messages about being female. 

The overarching idea that screams the loudest in society is that women should be nice, compliant, and avoid making waves, while strong, fierce, intelligent women are dangerous and ugly. Those who aim to destroy such strong women are often referred to as Queen Killers in women’s empowerment circles.

Are YOU a scaredy-cat?

There it is. I’ve just shared one of my biggest hurts in life.  I am a complicated soul with a scaredy-cat fear of everything that seeks to crush my spirit, with a love for all things living, tossed into a blender with the nature of an idealistic-dreamer-artist who wants to change the world yesterday, and a dash of unlimited power. That strange ‘smoothie’ is me, Lisa Wilson Brumby, queen bee, lioness, formerly known as She Who Played Small. I have already begun my climb. Scared to death and doing it anyway.

Have you been a scaredy-cat about something for too long? Are you ready to break through and connect to YOUR power?

On March 2 we are FINALLY launching the CLIMB a MOUNTAIN program! I have been obsessing about it in a good way for weeks now, and we are both so excited to take you on this inspiring journey WITH US in 2020!

Until then…

Keep calm and Brumbylon. 

Thanks for hanging out with me – have a great week! 

~ Lisa 

“The seed that grows toward the light begins in darkness.”

Suit up, warrior. 

Welcome back!

Last week we explored the role of choice in building resilience, and made a commitment to be warriors instead of victims. Standing strong in our warrior power first requires that we recognize what is ours – that which lies within our realm of control. We then need to take responsibility for our own well-being – by actively engaging in the art of self-care. Today we will explore three ways to take meaningful and effective steps to expand vitality and wellness. Time to suit up.

Why is self-care more important NOW than ever?

Let’s start with the higher-than-okay levels of toxic stress so prevalent in western culture. Our bodies, minds and spirits are constantly under siege from environmental contaminants, fractious noise, and external messages and pressures…which we may erroneously adopt as our own.

Consider how many of us (particularly here in the U.S.) are consciously and subconsciously driven to engage in long, distracting hours of busy work and multitasking (which, according to neuroscientists, and contrary to popular belief, no one is good at anyway).

I disapprove of the hamster-wheel pathology. All too often I arrive home from my day job totally spent, with a brain that feels more like scrambled eggs, to seek a bit of respite in a glass of wine and the couch. Can you relate?

Three pathways to wellness

We know that building resilience – the ability to rebound in the face of adversity – first begins with a decision – a choice. After the choice is made, however, what actions can we take to reset and regain our vitality once we’ve been burned by toxic negativity? Here are three highly effective self-care strategies worth trying.

Self-care tip #1: Practice the art of saying NO.

This deeply empathic warrior has learned how to establish healthy boundaries with others. That does not mean I have put up a fortress of stone walls and sequestered myself to a life apart from everyone I know and love. Neither do I get drawn into other people’s dramas easily anymore. There is a happy medium.

Consider the virtues of allowing yourself to say no to friends, family members and coworkers whose energy is bringing you down – especially if they are lost inside the victim blackhole.

Negativity is a common trap for people to get caught in – we’ve all done it, right? Well, you don’t have to be a victim, remember? With a little practice it can become fairly easy to smile with kindness and walk away – no need to feel guilty, or believe that you must take on anyone’s problems in order to be a good friend or loved one. Their stuff is not your stuff.

Honor your personal boundaries by saying no. Experiment with being compassionate toward others without getting involved. The person who is caught in the victim trap may ultimately respect you for it, and perhaps even follow your lead, warrior.

Self-care tip #2: UNPLUG.

Having good boundaries does not end with people. We can reduce the amount of time spent on electronic devices. More importantly, we need to maintain strong boundaries with external messages – any stream of consciousness emanating through advertising propaganda, news feeds or social media platforms – whatever has the power to dampen your spirits or reduce the flow of positive energy in your life. It’s okay to unplug and go off-grid.

Truly, the world won’t end if you give yourself a break from the news for a few days. And you certainly don’t need to expose yourself to – or worse – engage in nasty soul-destroying, hate-infused conversation threads on Facebook or Twitter. These activities are not just toxic, they are 100%  counterproductive. Please turn that noise OFF.

While you’re at it, make every effort to dodge inflammatory political propaganda. Facebook is rife with disinformation campaigns tailored specifically to your ideological base. And people LOVE to share this stuff. FYI, it is highly toxic, and promotes division and hate-mongering. 

Choose instead to go for a relaxing nature walk, or listen to some restorative, healing music, or both. Music can change the landscape of your energy from the first transformative note. For me, music is a magic wand that I like to wave over all bad vibes…*Poof* (gone).

Self-care tip #3: Build self-awareness.

Try keeping your self-care focus front and center by being mindful. Become hyper-aware of what triggers you. Connect with your feelings. Take a bit of time to examine the internal and external conditions that promote negative thoughts and emotions. Are there any recurring self-limiting stories playing in the background of your psyche? What is their frequency? If these messages make you feel bad about yourself they are almost certainly untrue. Call them out. Challenge their accuracy. Rewrite those stories.

Take every opportunity to track yourself. Make a mental note of where you are, what time of day it is, who you are with, your energy levels and state of mind – any and all factors that may be contributing to disempowering, negative thoughts.

Humans are multi-faceted and complicated; therefore we must be analytical. Building self-awareness helps us expand our power by shining a spotlight on that which promotes dis-ease, arming us with the ability to make well-informed, intentional self-care choices.

Bonus tip:

On occasion, when are feeling totally depleted, it doesn’t hurt to call out of work and spend a day curled up with a good book, or indulge in a streaming marathon of your favorite series. Your workplace isn’t likely to fold, even if you dare to get off the hamster wheel once in a while!  

Do YOU have any self-care strategies that you’d like to share? Fire away! There is no such thing as too much good stuff.

Keep calm and Brumbylon. 

Thanks for hanging out with me – have a great week! 

~ Lisa 

“The seed that grows toward the light begins in darkness.”

What does it mean to be true? 

Some common synonyms of the word true are real, genuine, authentic, sincere, faithful, dedicated, loyal. You can be true to your partner, meaning you are faithful. Similarly, you can be true to those who rely on you by honoring your commitments, or you may be true to loved ones by demonstrating loyalty. 

And yet, so many good people fail to be true to themselves, even while respecting and honoring the needs of others. It is very common. Have you ever wondered why? Are you caught in this mindset? Why is it so much easier to be true to others than to ourselves? 

Quite simply: a message. 

From infancy on, cultures and religions teach us values in the form of messages. These messages can be seen in every facet of our world. They are reinforced in the home and become embedded in our cultural institutions. 

What can be particularly baffling, however, is that in western society we receive messages that are often at odds. First, we are taught that individualism is good. Follow your dreams! You can be whatever you want to be! 

Sounds great. 

But then there is the confusing counter-message: If you prioritize your needs over others’ then you are selfish, and that’s bad. We might criticize and judge people who do just that, and maybe even feel a bit envious of them at the same time. How come they get to do it? 

At its most extreme, we even value martyrdom – the sacrificing of one’s own life or liberty for a higher cause or purpose. To varying degrees, we humans have been known to martyr ourselves to societal messages and external pressures that we’ve adopted, whether they are true to our heart’s purpose or not. 

Worse yet, we are frequently taught to suppress the acknowledgment and expression of our own value…we confuse the concept of self-value with arrogance. It’s super unattractive to brag. 

Seriously, we can be so messed up! 

Well-known contemporary Buddhist, Pema Chodron, said this: “In order to have compassion for others, we have to have compassion for ourselves.” 

She goes on to say that in Tibetan Buddhism there is a meditation practice called tonglen. 

“Tonglen reverses the usual logic of avoiding suffering and seeking pleasure and, in the process, we become liberated from a very ancient prison of selfishness. We begin to feel love both for ourselves and others and also we begin to take care of ourselves and others. It awakens our compassion and it also introduces us to a far larger view of reality. It introduces us to the unlimited spaciousness that Buddhists call sunyata. By doing the practice, we begin to connect with the open dimension of our being.” 

Word. 

Just sit with that bit of wisdom for a moment. Let it settle in. 

What the Buddhists got right. 

Tibetan Buddhists will tell you that there is something very important missing in western societies: the fundamental concept of loving and honoring the Self. Buddhists are really into compassion – not so much the emotion or feeling of compassion, but the universal concept of compassion. Buddhists question the logic of subordinating compassion for Self to the needs of others. Are we not people too? 

When we are allowed to value ourselves equal to others, then we may honor our own gifts and desires unfettered by judgment. Our truth can be seen as both legitimate and worthwhile. 

The best part? When you are true to yourself you are likely to be on fire about life. You are your whole self, which means you have more of your goodness to share with others. By example, you also give permission to others to be true to themselves. In short, being true to yourself is quite possibly the most meaningful thing you can do for others. 

I’ve just got to be true to myself…because when I do, then I give the best of me to you. 

~ From the song True by Brumbylon 

Update: We are getting SO excited to tell you more about our CLIMB A MOUNTAIN workshop! We’ll be announcing it soon  on our Facebook page! 

Keep calm and Brumbylon. 

Thanks for hanging out with me – have a great week! 

~ Lisa 

“The seed that grows toward the light begins in darkness.”